This Is What I Have To Tell You Manisha!

Dear Manisha,

You are a writer yourself; you know value of words, please read each line carefully.

I never meant insulting you.

My life has been a lot complicated, twisted. Whether it is Shahid Jamal, Pooja, or …every time people whom I adored the most disappointed me, they neither stood by me in happiness nor in pain – I have to take all of it alone.

Looking back at life, I have got little of what I ever deserved. My concern, fretting and things I did - getting out of my way for the persons I adored the most in my life - remained unanswered. And I have learned not to say a word. Why? Because I know people don’t care.

The reason why I stayed in touch with you, tried to assist you in getting a job – for this thing I apologize I failed despite my efforts -- and to help you keep your moral high, is: you have been a good friend. And it’s difficult to find fine people.

I definitely have had feelings for you and only my heart knows their truthfulness. Nevertheless, it is past now; only a fading memory. And present is bright and clear: our ways lead in different directions, almost opposite. That sums up things, we are friends and that’s the only thing we will ever be. I don’t want anything from you, because I can’t have it. It’s something that has been made abundantly clear. And I am no stupid.

There is nothing for me to win or to lose. However, I do care about you, I always had and I always will. And that leaves no space for insulting you.

I never meant insulting or abusing you. I can’t understand, why would I, returning from office after a long hectic day stop by a PCO - before going to my home, before having a glass of cold water, or before taking some rest – and call you up to only insult you! I don’t understand that I would call up people to see if there are any vacancies; or to sit at night surfing for sites to see if there are any openings…all of it only to insult you?

I always believed that the fragile friendship, which I constantly try to keep intact, needed no sophisticated pretence; no fabricated formal treatment. Thus, as a friend I was analysing things as I would about myself in any given situation, but I don’t know why you minded them.

I want you to get up and grab the opportunity you deserve. I want you to be there…I don’t know if you ever dream…dream of what you want to be, what you would make out of this life…I am sure you do. I want you to realise those dreams on your own.

We are here to hold you if you stumble, and to cheer and shout and scream and dance when you touch the line, achieve your dreams.

You do have big dream I am sure. Go touch them, pluck them and save them in your pouch. A talented person you are, a rewarded one you will be. That’s my belief.

I am sorry, but I am a bit choosy. I always keep best of the people around me. I kept you!


Swapnil